Hi Guido, Already a very nice job!! Here under are some comments.
On 01/02/2011 23:15, Guido Arnold wrote:
Hello all,
Although the Edu-Team has been active again, there was no consistent answer to the question what exactly we are aiming for and how we plan to get there. So, we started working on our mission statement and came up with a first draft.
You are warmly invited to provide us with any kind of input for improvements!
FSFE Edu-Team Mission Statement:
With the increasing usage of Information technology, software knowledgeability [1] has become a key skill in modern society. At almost all levels [2], pupils and students are taught how to use computers and deal with software.
We believe [3] Free Software is the best choice
the best choice for whom, for what?
as it encourages schooling of understanding over product schooling, upholds the scientific principles and doesn't neglect the social components of education like sharing, helping and learning from each other [4].
The aim of the education activity of FSFE is furthering
[native speaker needed] "the furthering"? "to further"?
Free Software in all education related activities and institutions. In accordance with FSFE's self conception [0], we want to bring Free Software in education on the political agenda across all European country borders and inform administrations, teachers, students/pupils and their parents about the benefits Free Software provides. We also want to foster communication and cooperation among these groups as well as with the developers and advocates of Free Software and their organisations to help them succeed. We aim for a legal framework that will not discriminate the use of Free Software and offer our expertise and advise to all parties involved.
[0] http://fsfe.org/about/principles.en.html
The footnotes point to some controversies during the drafting process.
Any comment or question is welcome! There is also an editable etherpad version where you can integrate your suggestions right away and anonymous [5].
Thank you for your time and help!
Greetings,
Guido
[1] knowledgeability sounds weird to some people. Is there any better way to express this?
Simple "knowledge"? "Education"? "know-how"? "Expertise"?
[2] It's been suggested to replace "levels" with "educational institutions"
Other proposal: "Throughout the many years in school [at all levels], …"
[3] delete "We believe"?
[4] does this explain the WHY good enough? Any other suggestions?