Hello Sam,
Thanks for your version! I'm glad to see a native English speaker working on it :)
Also thanks to Nico for his comments. I think all remarks are covered and changed with this version, or did I miss something?
On Thu, Feb 10, 2011 at 12:34:40PM +0000, Sam Tuke wrote:
My edit, taking into accounts Guido's recommendations (tracked on etherpad, with comments):
With the increasing usage of Information technology, software competency has become a key skill in modern society. In the overwhelming majority of sectors and industries [see #2], students of all ages require strong IT skills to become employable, productive, and competitive.
In etherpad, you noted: "knowledgeability sounds weird" : I agree. A foreign concept like this shouldn't be in the first sentence, IMO.
Does your "foreign concept" refer to the word "knowledgeability" or do you suggest to change whole sentence or move it somewhere else?
advocates. We shall establish a legal framework that shall prohibit discriminate against Free Software and it's users, and make available FSFE's
The only change I made after Sam's edit was to replace "discriminate" with "discrimination".
The draft can still be edited here until end of February: http://edu.etherpad.fsfe.org/5
Greetings,
Guido